Ruah Bull - Spiritual Director

 Holy preparation,  counterweight of surprise, plumbline of hospitality,  you are the fresh hay quietly strewn, soft linen bands newly torn,  to hold the One who is to come. O Preparation, catcher of the off guard, leveler of all things high and low, you are the smoother of rough edges and bearer of good news. Come, reveal our webs of apathy, with holy, sweeping light. Amen. 

  People who wait have received a promise that allows them to wait. They have received something that is at work in them, like a seed that has started to grow. This is very important. We can only really wait if we are waiting for something  already begun in us. Henri Nouwen  

 Lord Jesus, Master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do  seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day. We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us. We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence. We are your people, walking in darkness,  yet seeking the light, To you we say, "Come Lord Jesus!"

 It was still easy for her in the beginning, only when climbing she would be aware of her heavy womb, - and then she stood, breathing, on the Jewish mountains. But not the land spread about her, but her fullness; and while walking she knew: nowhere was there such fullness as hers. And she felt compelled to feel with her hand the womb of hers who was further along. Toward each other they swayingly stepped and caressed the dress and hair. Each woman was filled with sacred life and safe and at ease with the relative. And though the savior was hardly in bloom, the Baptist in the cousin's womb already jumped for joy,

 To get to you, I travelled light years Through cosmic storms and dust, Only to find you sleeping on your simple cot. Stepping back, I folded, Quietly, My gray ragged wings. I could see why he chose you,  The glow of your pure breath.... I didn't mean to frighten you, Just wanted to keep looking.... I wanted to breathe in your innocent air, look at your soft, Surrendered hands.... Another second.... Before I told you the news,

Even if I don't see it again - nor ever feel it  I know it is - and that if once it hailed me  it ever does- And so it is myself I want to turn in that direction not as towards a place, but it was a tilting  within myself,    as one turns a mirror to flash the light to where it isn't - I was blinded like that - and swam in what shone at me    only able to endure  it by being no one and so specifically myself I thought I'd die from being loved like that. 

That despite the roar of our day, our hearts might grow still. That glimpsing that quiet cove, we might seek you in that stillness. That resting in Your presence, our hearts might be prepared to hear You. That the Angel of God might visit the chamber of our hearts. That the Angel of God might say, 'Rejoice'. That we might hear, and truly respond in joy. That the Angel of God might say to us, 'Receive'. That the servant of God might respond, 'Let it be as You say'. That our hearts might become fertile wombs in which new life begins. That we might apprehend the infant life within. That we might embrace that infant life. That we might walk with care to bring about new birth. That we might witness the seed of of God bearing Holy Fruit.

You can prepare but still it will come to you by surprise crossing through your doorway, calling your name in greeting, turning like a child which quickens suddenly within you. It will astonish you how wide your heart will open in welcome for the joy that finds you so ready and still so unprepared.

If you want, the Virgin will come walking down the road pregnant with the holy, and say, "I need shelter for the night, please take me inside your heart, my time is so close." Then, under the roof of your soul, you will witness the sublime intimacy, the divine, the Christ taking birth forever, as she grasps your hand for help, for each of us is the midwife of God, each of us. Yes there, under the dome of your being does Creation come into existence eternally, through your womb dear pilgrim- the sacred womb in your soul, as God grasps our arm for help; for each of us is His beloved servant never far. If you want, the Virgin will come walking down the street pregnant with Light and singing.

It's not only Who was born in Mary's womb fifteen hundred years ago, but Who is being born in your womb now?